One practice of the Latter-day Saints is to bear testimony of the gospel. In particular, one worship service each month is devoted to members bearing testimonies to their wards. Another practice is to joke about baring testimony. That is when instead of carrying an edifying message to hearers, saints lose track of their purpose at the pulpit in excessively revealing ways, sharing stories of family trips, or health concerns, or experience with sin that others may not feel at ease hearing about so intimately.

Last week I spent several hours with the first chapter of John (“In the beginning was the Word, . . .”), and a minor repeated detail of John the Baptist’s ministry was noticeable:
“John bare witness of him, and cried, saying, This was he of whom I spake, He that cometh after me is preferred before me: for he was before me.”
“And John bare record, saying, I saw the Spirit descending from heaven like a dove, and it abode upon him.”
“And I saw, and bare record that this is the Son of God.”

So, the homophone isn’t so wrong after all.

(Trigger Warning for…everything)

SCENARIO 1:

Terrorist: Let everyone on this list of political prisoners free by midnight Friday or I will blow myself up in a public place and kill innocent bystanders.

Society: We don’t negotiate with terrorists!

SCENARIO 2:

Abused wife: He says if I ever leave him, he’ll kill himself, and I believe him.

Society: Girlfriend, you cannot let him blackmail you into spending your whole life with an abuser just because he says he’ll kill himself. He’s accountable for his own decisions, and you need to do what’s right for you and your kids.

SCENARIO 3:

LGBT Activists and Fellow-Travelers: If you don’t change your whole belief system to accommodate every conceivable sexual orientation and paraphilia, teenagers will kill themselves and their blood will be on your hands!

Society: Sounds serious, you’d better give them what they’re asking for unless you want kids to kill themselves. (more…)

Some of our most cherished Mormon practices and traditions are valued nearly as much for their “unintended” results as for their stated objectives. A couple of examples: (more…)

His Majesty was snorting at his newspaper when I brought him his pancake this morning.

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Snip. Snip. … Snip-snip.

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His Majesty has been somewhat sullen at breakfast lately. Part of it was the widespread perception in the media that Cthulu did better than His Majesty in the last debate. Part of it was the season of the year: I think His Majesty suffers from a touch of SAD (Sith Affective Disorder), which flares up around this time of year, but usually passes around early January. And I figured part of it was that the Imperial tummy has been unhappy. For several days, His Majesty could hardly choke down his meals, which left him feeling bloated and suffering with heartburn for hours afterwards. He convinced himself that it was gastroparesis, which he knows has been making life miserable for a young friend of mine.

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Steve Sailer (“Booming Utah Needs Lower Wages and More Expensive Mortgages, in the Name of Feminism”) points out a Bloomberg piece on “Why Utah Can’t Afford To Keep Its 1970s Gender Gaps.” You can read it now and then follow up tomorrow with the blog posts by Mormons who wish there were more Mormon mothers away from home and in the work force.

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Reading about a proposed 16-week paid family leave proposal for Washington, D.C., I was surprised at the notion that the tax to cover it is calculated to be only 1% of wages. A third of a year multiplied by two children means it would take over 65 years of working to cover the leave with a 1% tax. Then I started hearing the voice of that emperor that Vader is always telling us about. “In Washington, D.C. those with jobs mostly don’t bear or get children, and those who do father children mostly don’t have jobs, so the math works out.”

One of the great modern sin complexes goes by the name of authenticity.
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I recently watched an episode of “The Jim Gaffigan Show” with a bit of dialogue that perfectly encapsulated a thought that’s been bouncing around my head for a while. For those who aren’t familiar with Jim Gaffigan, he’s a “clean” but still very famous comedian who is basically a stereotypical Irish-American Catholic dad from the post-War era; his wife is more devout than he is, but he still is fully supportive of raising his kids as Catholics, with all that entails. He plays himself on the show, which is based on his real life.

In this episode, Jim’s wife invites their local parish priest, a gregarious young man from Africa named Father Nicholas, to go to Jim’s next stand-up, without asking Jim first. Jim hates the idea because he’s convinced that having a priest in the audience will kill the mood, but he gives in and takes Father Nicholas anyway. Right before they walk into the comedy club, they have the following exchange: (more…)

There is always a certain meanness in the argument of pure evil, joined with a certain superiority in its fact.

— Darth Waldo Emerson

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In the grove in the evening, the lion heard a great racket from a father robin and his brood and went to investigate.

“Friend Robin,” the lion said, “why do you make a fuss?”

“Look at this nest, O Lion. All my work on it is ruined.” The nest was a ring of thorns the robin had woven to keep the young away from the edge. But in the middle of the ring at the bottom of the nest there was little. The pine needles and other such stuff the robin put here had mostly fallen away.

“Do not fret, friend Robin,” the lion said. “As I walked here, I saw several empty nests. I will lead you to one. Then it will be as if your mistake never happened.”

“O Lion,” the robin replied, “what a piteous state would be mine if all my work for my brood were meaningless. I cannot bear that they go to another nest as if all my work had never happened.”

“Then you will have your brood sleep in this nest?” the lion asked.

“No,” said the robin, “they would fall. It is not fair to them to suffer for my mistakes.”

“And you see no way for the nest to be repaired?” the lion asked.

“Oh no,” said the robin, “I built it wrong from the start.”

Then the king of beasts took the ring of thorns and placed it on his own head. “Let your brood nest in my mane, walled in by you’ve the ring you made.”

Someone must bear the consequences.

His Majesty is somewhat particular.

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I guess I should be encouraged that 150 students were willing to walk out of their classes to protest the arrival of perversity and Orwellian mind control at their high school. But they left out the essential second step. In order for this to have been a truly successful blow against the System, they needed to:

1. Leave Class (check)
2. Never Go Back (sadly incomplete)

The battle won’t be won until the schools are ghost towns, their derelict buildings are burnt to the ground, and the former campus littered with land mines to prevent even the thought of building another school there.

P.S. The “There are monkey-boys in the facility” category is unusually apt for this post.

His Majesty has continued to ruminate on crime and punishment.

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