Or as Sherlock Holmes would say, “the dog that isn’t barking.”
A visiting area authority used the word “stand-offish” at our recent stake conference. That’s a polite way of describing many LDSs’ tendency to be insular and avoid social interaction outside of formal callings.
When sharing my views with others about the sore lack of sociality at church, some see the same picture I do and agree. Others are incredulous.
I think the incredulity comes from the fact that people are not intentionally or actively unsocial or unwelcoming. Being unsocial is not a sin of commission, but a sin of omission. I’m just using that as a familiar phrase; I don’t think the cases that I see rise to the level of sin, merely the less-than-optimum situation of not recognizing an opportunity, and thereby allowing a good act to go undone.
Generally, bishops, their counselors and other early-arrivers (for the Sunday meetings) in a ward try to be on the look-out for people they don’t recognize as active members, and make an attempt to greet them. But rarely, at least in the wards I’ve been in, do most members. So if those normal-greeters are busy elsewhere, or actively greeting one person or group, other people may come in who are not recognized as new people, and go un-greeted.
And the thing is, everyone, even the most faithful attendees, should be greeted or acknowledged by at least someone. And the bishopric and the few early-arrivers usually can’t get to everybody. Now, for most old-timers, eye-contact, a head nod, and a grunt will do. But many don’t even get that. (more…)
