A bull was grazing in a field near a stream. Now in that country there was a flock of escaped parrots who busied themselves in other people’s matters. (more…)

One practice of the Latter-day Saints is to bear testimony of the gospel. In particular, one worship service each month is devoted to members bearing testimonies to their wards. Another practice is to joke about baring testimony. That is when instead of carrying an edifying message to hearers, saints lose track of their purpose at the pulpit in excessively revealing ways, sharing stories of family trips, or health concerns, or experience with sin that others may not feel at ease hearing about so intimately.

Last week I spent several hours with the first chapter of John (“In the beginning was the Word, . . .”), and a minor repeated detail of John the Baptist’s ministry was noticeable:
“John bare witness of him, and cried, saying, This was he of whom I spake, He that cometh after me is preferred before me: for he was before me.”
“And John bare record, saying, I saw the Spirit descending from heaven like a dove, and it abode upon him.”
“And I saw, and bare record that this is the Son of God.”

So, the homophone isn’t so wrong after all.

(Trigger Warning for…everything)

SCENARIO 1:

Terrorist: Let everyone on this list of political prisoners free by midnight Friday or I will blow myself up in a public place and kill innocent bystanders.

Society: We don’t negotiate with terrorists!

SCENARIO 2:

Abused wife: He says if I ever leave him, he’ll kill himself, and I believe him.

Society: Girlfriend, you cannot let him blackmail you into spending your whole life with an abuser just because he says he’ll kill himself. He’s accountable for his own decisions, and you need to do what’s right for you and your kids.

SCENARIO 3:

LGBT Activists and Fellow-Travelers: If you don’t change your whole belief system to accommodate every conceivable sexual orientation and paraphilia, teenagers will kill themselves and their blood will be on your hands!

Society: Sounds serious, you’d better give them what they’re asking for unless you want kids to kill themselves. (more…)

Some of our most cherished Mormon practices and traditions are valued nearly as much for their “unintended” results as for their stated objectives. A couple of examples: (more…)