Disfigurement (Pain and Suffering for Lent)

When you are used to being clean, and you are dirty.  It gnaws at you.

When you are used to being attractive, and you are now scarred, or fat, or disfigured.

When you were never used to these things, but  you have always been scarred, or fat, or disfigured.   You see the thousand subtle ways people treat you differently without even realizing it.  Sometimes with kindness, but still treating you differently.  You are mostly used to it, but sometimes it stabs.

Sometimes you are invisible.  Sometimes you are acutely visible.  It hurts.  You find refuge in being alone or in being online or in charm and accomplishment.

he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.