Agency and Identity

“But we need to let them have agency!”

Yes, we do.

Agency is primarily a question of choosing your identity.  I.E., your relationships.  Specific moral choices are usually downstream from that.  Are you a progressing, repentant son or daughter of God, or are you something else?  From that choice, everything else follows.

Children and teenagers in particular are primed for wanting to choose an identity.

Among humans, where there is no boundary there is no identity, and where there is no boundary enforcement there is no boundary.  An identity that does not demand anything is not an identity.  Similarly, a relationship that does not demand anything is not a relationship.  There is nothing there to choose.

Boundaries, rules, and standards with teeth make agency possible.

Yes, we need to let them have their agency.