The Father is the Adult Stage of the Human Male
The father is the adult biological stage of the human male. You could say the same of the mother too, but there it’s more obvious. What we all know happens with women happens with men also. There are literally physiological changes and mental neurological developments that occur when you become a father to your first child.
After birth, the biological stages of human existence are
- childhood,
- adolescence,
- young adulthood,
- parenthood.
Probably old age too. Human males are capable of procreation in the young adulthood stage, but that doesn’t lead to molting and maturation without becoming a father. Insemination is not enough.
A young adult who doesn’t want to marry or if they do marry who doesn’t want to have children is the later stage equivalent of someone suffering from Peter Pan syndrome, i.e., someone who does not want to grow up. I suppose there’s an equivalent for adolescents too, although many fewer of us want to stay at that awkward stage in life. I guess there are some–isn’t there a country song about having your glory days in high school?
A lot of teenage girls who are identified as trans and who are given drugs so they don’t mature as a female are actually suffering from Peter Pan syndrome. They don’t really want to be a man. They want to not become a woman, i.e., they want to stay a child. This is an extremely understandable point of view. Being a child is awesome. In many ways they were golden years for many of us. And yet we all realize it is a tragedy and often a grotesque spectacle. It is not what you were meant for. Part of being a real child is the growth towards the next stage. The childlikeness without that growth or potential is is disfigured.
Extensive use of contraception, or abortion (for women) or abandonment (for men), to avoid having a child should be seen as the equivalent of taking puberty blockers. Unnaturally stopping your growth.
You are using artificial means to halt your biological development at a stage short of maturity.
The girls are transgender. You are trans 20.
Shuck off your chrysalis. Enter your final growth.
There once was a garden that was so lush and full of bright fruit it was too pretty to harvest. The produce rotted on the vine.
(None of this is an excuse for having a DadBod though.)
Eric
November 1, 2023
How about dad jokes?
I once heard a high council speaker who told us about what he told his four-year-old child when the kid was complaining about something: Why are you complaining? You’re four! You’re never going to have it better in your life! You’re old enough to take care of your basic needs, like potty and feeding yourself, but not so old that anyone expects anything of you or makes any demands on your time.
He reported that despite such an explanation, the kid didn’t see things that way and kept complaining. I had the same results when I repeated the idea to my children when they were four.
On an unrelated note (and this might be more appropriate when Christmas gets closer in a few weeks), the four stages listed here remind me of another four-stage model of life:
You believe in Santa Claus
You don’t believe in Santa Claus
You are Santa Claus
You look like Santa Claus
Zen
November 2, 2023
Now that you phrase it this way, I can see that a lot of modern dysfunction goes back to this Peter-Pan-ism.
Eric – As CS Lewis expressed, there is nothing so childish as trying to act very grown up. So Dad jokes, within reason, are the relaxed state of a person who actually has grown up.
G.
November 2, 2023
I’m thinking of moving to Switzerland. The flag is a big plus.
RonTomlinson
November 2, 2023
Re: Dadbods. Mightn’t these be another example of arrested development? Stuffing oneself with as much food as available might be a good strategy for those whose bodies aren’t fully grown. After that, well it’s silly. Gluttons are afraid of missing out but in reality they’re missing out on spiritual development (i.e. getting larger in a better, more fulfilling way)
Huston
November 2, 2023
This is a good point. I work with teens, and have seen an exponential explosion of the trans trend over the last several years. At first, it was just a trickle of girls who seemed to be seeking safety and independence by trying to actually become male (a sad comment on how society views girls, I guess!)…
but these days it’s just the opposite. The vast majority of these girls now aren’t fleeing trauma, they’re just the weird theater kids LARPing gender for the latest bandwagon fad.
You see this most clearly in their newly chosen names. The first wave, those trying to become strong, masculine survivors of whatever was haunting them, chose stereotypically macho names: Brad, John, Chuck, and especially Max. (I once had three of these newly minted “Maxes” in one year.)
But now it’s like a contest to see who can come up with the most obscure, twee moniker. They all want to be Humphrey, Percy, Nigel, Woodrow…they want to be characters in a Wes Anderson movie. They want their new identities to be retro kitsch.
You know, like girls would want.
The average trans teen in 2023 isn’t a male athlete with a mental disorder, it’s just some awkward girl with the same neurotic goofiness that kids have always had, only now our society is magnifying it in a dangerously warped way.
Environmentalism has popularized the concept of “sustainability,” and I wish we’d apply that to every issue. Transgenderism isn’t sustainable, not for societies and not even for individuals. They couldn’t even keep up a serious facade for a decade.
Eric
November 2, 2023
By the way, I don’t believe Dadbods are worth getting too hung up about. Fatness is temporary, resurrection is forever.
John Mansfield
November 2, 2023
This is an aspect of what President Nelson was teaching with “think celestial.” Keep stuck in immaturity, including diversions into unreality, and we won’t be fit for the celestial kingdom. Start valuing and desiring heavenly things, and we will become whole people here.
[]
November 2, 2023
Peter Pan is a fun example to bring up. Apostle who can’t come through when it counts + nature satyr seducer god, taking children to a land of no progression to be Lost Boys (lit. Sons of Perdition).
The energy that would have been spent on fatherhood builds up anyway. This generation spends it on video games, a very convenient social tool, another might have spent it on war.