…And You Deserve It

A mouse fell into conversation with a stray heifer calf. “You cattle have your good points,” the mouse said, “but sometimes you aren’t always careful about watching where you step.”

The heifer calf was furious. “That’s not true, you liar. I hope you get crushed in the next stampede!”

***
A man on horseback called up to a storm petrel. “Hey, bird! Being this far inland, should I expect a storm is in the offing?” The bird circled around and said that a storm was exactly what he presaged. “Well, I hope its a gentle one. I hate to see everything wash away.” the petrel shrieked in anger. “Our storms bring you nothing but good! Ungrateful wretch, may you die in a flood!”

Moral: That will never happen and when it does, you deserve it. It’s funny how wrath can disconnect the circuits in your mind, so you never realize that what you are doing in your anger is the accusation that made you angry in the first place.

See also every couple ever.

“You seem irritable today.”
“Why do you keep saying that? That’s so annoying, I’ve about had it.”