Merry Christmas, Here’s Your Gift

You would have loved your exclusive JG Giftmas ™ this year.  We had a handcrafted Christmas message full of cheer.  Very endearing!  Produced by fair wage diverse indigenous artisans and certified conflict-zone free.  The cost to you would have been minimal due to generous green energy subsidies investments provided by the administration, since the message was carbon neutral.  You would have loved the spontaneous encomiums to the Biden economy our artisans inserted at the end.

Unfortunately, our message shipment is stuck on a cargo vessel in the Red Sea, stranded for fear of Houthi missiles.

So instead we offer you this authentic 16th century carol.

Hey nonny hey dillo 

Christmas wrap-a-rillo

Rip and tear, everywhere

scrappy scrap a scrillow

hey handy dill dandy

Christmas chocolate candy

fatsy wat, pat-a-pat

hey bonny bloato

Merry Christmas!