Not guaranteed to be word for word or even close.  The only guaranty is that they are in my notes.

April 2022

Elder Anderson — The internet is a blessing and a curse.

Elder Bednar  — Heed not what the wicked may say.

The foundation of our successful approach to having a long running blog.

Elder Gong —  Meaning comes from family.

The Brother before Elder Cook — Anyone can change.

Sister Wright — 91 isn’t too old to fix it.

Brother Ringwood — The plan is personal.  It is not a management plan created by committee based on expert consultation, procedure, and analysis.

Elder Rasband — A plague of attacks on religious influence in society.

President Nelson — Cut short your misery.

Elder Oaks — Bearing and nurturing children is part of the divine plan.  Satan discourages childbearing and distorts gender.

Elder Oaks — “family-centered” isn’t limited to this life.

Brother Klebingat — A God who makes no demands is one who functionally does not exist.

Brother Klebingat — the desperate decibels of the GSB.  

There were a number of references to the GSB this conference.  Lehi nailed our day, no doubt.

Rumors that we are low on badinage are categorically false and practically treasonous.

In other news, we regret to inform that Putin blew up our badinage warehouse and supplies will be temporarily limited.

By temporary we mean until the heat death of the sun.

The good news is that smiling and, heaven forfend, laughing, waste valuable energy.

Please resume your slack-jawed stupor.

From a fellow whose name I didn’t catch on Saturday morning (Captcher?) — the Jonah-esque story about the Nigerian stake president who tried to escape his calling by going on a trip, only to have the conference rescheduled and a near-fatal accident.

Saturday afternoon, another speaker whose name I didn’t catch, right before Elder Gong — the story about being worried about all the good things in his life he might lose if he went on a mission but he did.  “And that young woman, she married one of my good friends.”

Sunday morning, Ringwood — the story about the guy awkwardly bearing his testimony of Joseph Smith at an evangelical revival because he didn’t realize he was in the wrong church.  And rescuing someone else there because of it.  I’d like to think that my great many awkward acts and bumbles were actually part of some divine mercy to someone else who was around.

These stories all make me think that the divinity has a sense of humor, and not of the particularly safe kind either.

In honor of Elder Bednar

Peace, spiritual rejuvenation, and personal revelation.