September 28th, 2021 by G.
There once were two men who had to duel using fish.
It was not easy to figure out how to do. They were the miserable butt of jokes for months as they tried out and discarded various fanciful notions.
Particularly miserable was the man who had been challenged. He and the challenger had both been pretty worked up about whatever it was, so he accepted the challenge through clenched teeth and then drew himself up to announce his choice of weapon. He wanted fish spears, the barbed nasty little things. He drew himself up and said, “FISH [dramatic pause]” then one guy there snorted and everyone around burst out laughing, big honking laughs, and no one heard him say “spears.” They just would not shut up with the laughter, by the time he could make himself clear it sounded like he was making excuses and everyone agreed it was too late. He was so angry he challenged some of them to a duel but they just laughed him off.
At the time the challenger was furious at the man who said fish. He thought the man must have done it on purpose, he was in no mood to make allowances (you rarely are when you fight a duel), and he wanted to call the whole thing off as a mockery. But everyone advised him he had to. They insisted solemnly that it would clean impinge on his personal honor to back out now.
You never believe in society quite so much as when everyone you meet knows all about your affairs and spontaneously coordinates to keep you the butt of the joke. (more…)