Three Braggart Crows

Three crows met to brag on a fence rail.

“Friends,” said the first crow, “friends, I am a world class deceiver.  I tell mostly truths, I work to get the details correct, and then I tell the Big Lie.  So huge that no one can believe I would make it up entirely.  They think there must be at least something there.  I get experts, I get emotional narratives, I get ordinary people to come forward as witnesses.  I have planned techniques and fallback positions for when people question the lie.  I am one fine liar.”  And perhaps the crow was telling the truth about himself, who knows.

“That approach is infantile,” said the second crow.  “I don’t say untrue things at all.  I just lie by omission.  I will paint the victim as the aggressor by leaving out who struck first.  I will get other groups to tell my lies for me, then I just quote them.  It’s so professional, the way I do it.”  Perhaps that crow was also telling the truth, who knows.

The third crow smirked.  Finally he said, “I just lie.  I tell big lies and little lies.  I tell lies constantly.  I contradict my former lies.  I say whatever would be convenient at the moment.  I contradict myself in the same sentence.  If someone calls me on it, I lie and say I didn’t.”

“Hey,”  one crow cawed to a nearby grazing cow.  “Which one of us has the best approach to get you to believe stuff?”

The cow ignored them.