An Irrefutable Syllogism
March 31st, 2015 by MC
1. All American children used to grow up hearing the story of how little George Washington cut down a cherry tree, then confessed to the deed by saying, “I cannot tell a lie.”
2. It is generally agreed among historians, even those not disposed to tear down the reputations of the Founding Fathers, that the cherry tree story was an invention of Parson Weems.
3. Therefore, George Washington almost certainly did not exist, and we need to stop hurting people by making such a fetish of honesty based on fairy tales like these.
Q.E.D.
Ask a Liberal Mormon
March 31, 2015
I feel so much freer now.
Learned and therefore Wise Person
March 31, 2015
While several source attest to the existence of a character know as George Washington (including several supposedly written by the figure himself), thus leading any serious scholar to admit the possibility of his existence, the nature of the self-serving myth making and overtly mythologized narratives casts serious doubt on the actual historicity of these accounts.
Even events that have not been declaimed by many historians reek of overtly hagiographic biography, intended to help instill a sense of unity and quell any diversity in the nascent “American” republic being created by (and for the clear advantage of) rich white men.
Washington, as portrayed in the hagiographic histories is clearly “too good to be true” and would hardly pass serious scrutiny, if most scholars were not too afraid of the repercussions of challenging so many deeply held beliefs, epitomized by the current industry that surrounds the image of this mythologized hero.
Any attempt to look at individual events in his life show clear evidence of expansion, exaggeration, and outright invention. The famous painting of Washington crossing the Delaware, for example, is quite obviously inaccurate to what might have actually happened (standing up in a boat in treacherous waters? not likely) and the idea that a rag tag group of untrained rabble were able to defeat highly trained German mercenaries strains credulity.
While there may have been some actual person behind the myths, the stories themselves are too fanciful to be trusted. It’s clear that the George Washington who exists in the popular mind is ahistorical and should be abandoned.
Andrew
April 2, 2015
Wow. Now I’m starting to question whether the United States of America ever existed.
That reminds me of the description of the Babel Fish:
“Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful [as the Babel fish] could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the nonexistence of God.
The argument goes like this: “I refuse to prove that I exist,” says God, “for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.”
“But,” says Man, “The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn’t it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don’t. QED.”
“Oh dear,” says God, “I hadn’t thought of that,” and promptly disappears in a puff of logic.
“Oh, that was easy,” says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.”
Douglas Adams, HHGTG