His Majesty has been somewhat sullen at breakfast lately. Part of it was the widespread perception in the media that Cthulu did better than His Majesty in the last debate. Part of it was the season of the year: I think His Majesty suffers from a touch of SAD (Sith Affective Disorder), which flares up around this time of year, but usually passes around early January. And I figured part of it was that the Imperial tummy has been unhappy. For several days, His Majesty could hardly choke down his meals, which left him feeling bloated and suffering with heartburn for hours afterwards. He convinced himself that it was gastroparesis, which he knows has been making life miserable for a young friend of mine.

(more…)

There is always a certain meanness in the argument of pure evil, joined with a certain superiority in its fact.

— Darth Waldo Emerson

(more…)

His Majesty is somewhat particular.

(more…)

His Majesty has continued to ruminate on crime and punishment.

(more…)

I must obey my master.

(more…)

I woke to the sound of His Majesty cackling happily. He was up early and feeding nips to the cats.

(more…)

His Majesty has been awfully quiet lately, but I could feeeeel the sourness swelling within him.

(more…)

The other day I installed a cloak hook near the entrance of the domicile I share with His Majesty.

My cloaks can be heavy, and I also thought it might be prudent to be sure the hook could support the weight of His Majesty’s winter jacket, so I took some time to install the hook securely. I located the stud (much easier with the Force than with a stud locater, by the way) and made sure the hook was screwed firmly through the drywall into the stud. I figured it would easily hold a couple of cloaks and winter jackets.

I stood back to admire my work (funny; don’t you always do that when you finish any handyman project?) and just then His Majesty came storming through the door in a frightfully sour mood. He glanced at me, glanced at the hook, and without a moment’s hesitation he grabbed the hook and tried to swing from it. That was too much weight, of course; there was a loud crack and the hook came out of the wall, doing serious damage to the stud and drywall. In fact, since this is a load-bearing wall, the damage to the stud could wind up being a significant problem.

My jaw hit the floor, or would have, if the vocorder wasn’t in the way.

It turns out His Majesty has been thinking about original sin.

(more…)

His Majesty was somewhat put out this morning.

(more…)

Sometimes I wonder if there is really any hope for His Majesty.

(more…)

I’ve discovered this week just how much His Majesty can be a pain in the

(more…)

I could hear His Majesty cackling over the paper even before I emerged from the kitchen with his breakfast pancakes and porridge.

(more…)

His Majesty was almost creepily cheerful this morning.

(more…)

His Majesty was wearing a sour face when he came out to breakfast this morning.

(more…)

Fast Sundays seem to be for puttering.

(more…)