Junior Ganymede
We endeavor to give satisfaction

The Internet of Things

February 16th, 2017 by G.

“I say, Jeeves,” I said, bounding into the room.  “I have a perfectly fruity idea.  A fellow at the Drones was telling me all about the internet of things.  It’s ripping.  We install it here at the flat and when you go off to do your annual shrimping down at thingummy beach, why, its almost like I will be having an cyber-valet.”

Jeeves did not skip gaily about the room.  He was not exactly gruntled.  If he did not technically give me the nolle prosequi, he came near as toucher.

“I venture to suggest, sir,” he said, “that you may be laboring under an misapprehension.”  As he explained it, the dashed internet of  things did not absolutely mix you a stiff brandy-and-s when it saw you drag in rather down in the dumpsish.  It seems the jolly ol’ setup is rather more in the wheelhouse of ordering you laundry detergent if it overhears you talking about Soapy Sid, or conveying your private conversations to fellows in the Punjab so they can better tailor advertisements to the tastes of Sahib.  Not to mention the hacker chappies, who sound rather like blighters.

“Jeeves,” I said magnanimously, raising my hand, “say no more about it.  If it not absolutely awsomesauce, I will forswear it.  Take it away and give it to the deserving poor.”

 

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February 16th, 2017 15:40:46

Identity theft

February 06th, 2017 by Vader

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February 06th, 2017 08:56:34

Literally Hitler

February 03rd, 2017 by Bertie

My club–the Drones, don’t you know–enjoys an exceptionally high level of repartee and, well, insight, dash it. When one subtracts out the flying rolls, one is left with dashed pearls of wisdom.

Just yestere’en, my pal Jocko, though generously imbibing bumperfuls of the blushful Hippocrene, was able to address the issues of the day with a straightforward pith. “Bertie,” he said, fastening on to the buttonholes of my lapel, “Bertie, auld bean, dae yon daft Yanks nae ken Trump cannae be Literally Hitler? He disnae e’en hae a wee mustarsh.”

Which I thought was putting it very well.

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February 03rd, 2017 10:38:06

The Sanctity of the National Mall Turf

January 24th, 2017 by Bertie

Any brainy coves out there on our beloved intertubes that can lend a hand on the matter of estimating crowd sizes? I backed a ring of punters on a book that Steggles made for the inaugural crowd, and now the dashed fellow is being dashed truculent. One notes a distinct lack of forthcomingness in re one’s winnings, what, what, what?

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January 24th, 2017 08:01:18

His Majesty has become an author

January 12th, 2017 by Vader

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January 12th, 2017 16:38:25

The Second Parable of Rule

December 15th, 2016 by G.

Image result for medieval pilgrim

These build on each other.  We’ll start with the First Parable of Rule again.

(more…)

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December 15th, 2016 09:30:33

A less than healthy elite

December 13th, 2016 by Jeeves

I have had occasion to reflect on Lord Vader’s historical ruminations vis-a-vis Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman.

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December 13th, 2016 10:25:31

The Amazing All-New Cub Scout Diet

December 12th, 2016 by G.

You can eat as much as you want . . . as long as its great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts. Spoons optional.

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December 12th, 2016 10:43:53

Angina Monologue 33

December 11th, 2016 by Vader

His Majesty was in a rather pleasant mood this morning.

(more…)

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December 11th, 2016 14:49:26

The Essential Bruce Charlton reading list.

November 26th, 2016 by Bookslinger

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November 26th, 2016 07:55:11

It’s tough being an evil overlord nowadays

November 14th, 2016 by Vader

fluffy

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November 14th, 2016 17:50:40

With the Bundy’s at their Country Place

October 26th, 2016 by Bertie

My Aunt Agatha has crust to end all crusts.  One can only goggle at the sang-froid with which she puts across her desires that some poor innocent toad beneath the harrow engage in enterprises of the scaliest.  As the Americans would say, bless her heart.

As is often the case, what, what, what, the recent toad beneath the harrow was one Bertie Wooster.  “Bertie,” she said, “I wish you to join the Oregon militia stand-off under false pretenses as an informant for the FBI”

“Why, I say,” I said, “dash it.  This is the limit.  The absolute frozen limit.  What earthly reason should I have for embroiling myself in those contretemps?”

She fixed me with her steely gaze.  “Because I wish it,” she said.  Or perhaps hissed would be the mot juste.

As Jeeves would put it, vowing that I would ne’er consent, I consented.

It was rather jolly.  I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the great bulk of my fellow militia men were also undercover fellows.  It was rather in the nature of a costume party.  Next time I shall go as Pierrot.

A good time was had by all and sundry.

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October 26th, 2016 10:00:28

Dashed Spectacular Revelations

October 12th, 2016 by Bertie

What ho, what ho, what ho!

My pals have been wondering why I have been keeping radio silence, going dashed incommunicado and all that.  The matter is susceptible of a ready explanation, what.  Due to a contretemps of the contrempiest, around a calendar year or so ago your Bertram found himself rather accidentally affianced.  Judging it the better part of valor to not reveal that my suit had been thoroughly pressed to the prior pressee of said suit, viz., a certain flame-haired nuclear physicist gal who, if she has one fault, could be said to have a temper that could split atoms, I determined to extricate myself from the toils in a more manly, straightforward way.  To wit, I asked Jeeves.  My  man, you know.  He’s a dashed brainy cove. (more…)

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October 12th, 2016 07:55:41

“Arrr,” He Prayed

October 11th, 2016 by G.

My little son:

I prayed to God for if I could be a pirate and He said, “well, do you want to be a pirate?” and I want to know what that means?

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October 11th, 2016 06:09:12

A half-pedant

September 20th, 2016 by Vader

Like a half-wit, may be worse than none at all.

Worth working back to earlier chapters, if only for the statement:

The Gods do not like cheap signaling.

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September 20th, 2016 07:51:53