Junior Ganymede » Deseret Review

A blow for cetacian rights!

Vader — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 18:11:56 +0000

PETA sues for freedom of killer whales held in involuntary servitude.

No doubt I’ll soon be arrested for traffic in sexual slavery: I have two female dachshunds I keep in a kennel when I’m out going to and fro in the Galaxy, and up and down in it (involuntary servitude), and when I get home, I rub their bellies (doubtless some kind of sex offense.) Of course, the dogs show every sign of loving me and enjoying the belly rubs, but that’s just Stockholm syndrome.

His Majesty: “I’ve met your curs. They needed enslaving.”

Remind me to avoid Henderson, Nevada

Vader — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 17:57:20 +0000

Man in diabetic shock beaten by cops. I can only imagine what they’d do to someone as dependent on Class C medical devices as I am.

His Majesty: “I’d think any cop worth his salt would try to shoot you on sight, Lord Vader. And it has nothing to do with your medical status.”

His Majesty has been trying to get me to give up some of my vacation time for some time now.

Attention, Homo-Hatin’ Bigots

Adam Greenwood — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 18:52:29 +0000

The Ninth Circuit is on to you. Your atavistic views, redolent of the last century, clearly have no place in our Constitution. Which sprung full-grown out of Lady Gaga’s head in the year 2020.

“Obama 2012: He’ll Do Better This Time, Honest”

Vader — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:49:57 +0000

His Hehness does not think this is a winning slogan.

Neither do I, but it’s certainly a highly entertaining slogan. I can come up with some more:

Obama 2012: No Longer Lacking Executive Experience

Obama 2012: Everyone Deserves a Second Chance

Obama 2012: Purely By the Law of Averages, He’s Bound to Do Better

Add your own in the comments.

Toddler snot as tool of persuasion

Vader — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:31:00 +0000

I see I need to reprogram my interrogation droid. Juniper pollen seems like a fine addition to its repertoire as well.

Holding up your baby after name/blessing is now called “Lion King-ing”.

Bookslinger — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 01:32:43 +0000

I’ve seen this dozens of times on Fast & Testimony Sundays, and now there’s a name for it. Link. Youtube meme.

The Junior Ganymede’s New Super PAC

The Junior Ganymede — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 16:31:59 +0000

Despite its importance as a vital national interest, the Junior Ganymede has not received adequate investments from Washington. We are therefore pleased to announce the formation of a new Jr. Ganymede Super PAC under the auspices of JG habitue Bertie Wooster. The PAC will be known as “Hip Hip Hooray for the Future!” and will engage in dashed vigorous 30-second exposes of blots on the political scene. Please give generously.

As Prez, Mitt Romney would appoint….

Bookslinger — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 16:18:31 +0000

I think it’s now time to play the “Mitt Romney would/should/could appoint (insert well-known Mormon here) as _____” game.

GA’s and famous Mormons are fair game. Creating a new position is also allowed.

As in: Romney would appoint Deiter F. Uchtdorf as head of the FAA, Jeffrey Holland as head of Dept of Education.

What should be a pet-cause for Ann Romney? (Michelle Obama’s is diet/weight-loss, Laura Bush’s was education, Nancy Reagan’s was Say No to Drugs.)

I nominate Family Home Evening to be Ann Romney’s cause.

(Various ideas can be found/stolen from a “Mitt Romney is so Mormon…” meme at various places on the net. A list of the best is here.)

In defense of Burke’s “little platoons”

Vader — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 16:02:32 +0000

A touching essay on how the dying talk about God.

And an unflatterintg look at Harvard divinity professors.

“It is raining soup, and we are stuck holding a fork.”

Vader — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 17:27:23 +0000

Walter Russell Mead argues that it is our success that has so disorganized our society.