Mr. Man SL learned at an early age that dead men tell no tales. Hence he was always careful to ask a live man or even a live woman for his bedtime story. To his sorrow, he also learned that live men often tell no tales. He loafs like a Stakhanovite. He confronts modernity in deadly, face-to-face, bare-handed struggle. Not bare-wristed, though, as his wrists are encased in impeccable Mechlin lace.
Herr Professor Doktor Vader is a government drone who constructs weapons of mass destruction in a location not nearly as far away as one might wish. His family crest–Veni, Vader, Vici (“I came, I choked everyone I saw, I conquered”)–graces the pages of the Almanac de Gotha.
Mr. Adam G. is a brash conquistador. His elaborate vocabulary and baroque humor are symptomatic of his manifold genius, or so unidentified sources claim, off the record. He is also buggy. He has the space bug, the Mormon bug, and oftimes the flu bug.
Mr. Grey Owl is a gentleman of obscure origin resident in the great woods of the Canadian northland.
Mr. GST is a devout adherent of the advice of Shakespeare’s Polonius, “neither a burrower nor a leper be.” He is not involved in the oil industry. He is a friend to the oppressed everywhere–and an enemy to no man. Because none of his enemies qualify as men, the spineless sissies. Update: We regret to say that Mr. GST perished in an expedition the fabled Lost Continent where the Ten Tribes dwell. He was last seen critiquing the dentition of a ravening beast. His blogging will hereafter be conspic. by its a. Go in peace, traveler.
Mr. Paul Bunyan is a big-hearted guy. His pet ‘Babe’ has won many prizes at ox shows. Mr. Bunyan is employed professionally as a log-whisperer.
Mr. Pecos Bill is a Mormon bishop and a Scoutmaster in eastern New Mexico. He is rough of speech and temper but a natural gentleman withal. He is a pioneer in space exploration and is currently involved in a cooperative venture with NASA to breed lunar longhorns. He does not read the blog, sending in his posts and comments via smoke-signal.
Mr. Bertram Wooster is a well-dressed young writer resident in London’s West End. His scripture knowledge is extensive. He suffers from aunts. As an aristo-elitist enemy of the people, he is doomed to the tumbrils with the Duc d’Enghien and Mitt Romney.
Ms. La LLorona is the Junior Ganymede’s “Mommy blogger.” Along with Jeeves, she is the Junior Ganymede’s non-Mormon.
Mr. Mogollon Monster rages inarticulately. Web accounts wrongly describe him as a species of ‘bigfoot.’
Mr. Mike Fink‘s daddy was an H-bomb, his mommy was a rocket, and he’s all awesome. He can outfight, outtalk, or outtake any man, woman, or child, and he doesn’t care who knows it. Chuck Norris is his hankie.
Jeeves wears a size nine hat. He is the recognized authority on all matters within his purview. We dasn’t say anything else, as it would be a liberty.
Mr. Bartleby T. Scrivener prefers not to divulge personal information.
NOTE: Some authors had their blurb here composed for them. Make allowances.