Junior Ganymede
We endeavor to give satisfaction

Authors

April 03rd, 2009 by admin

Mr. Man SL learned at an early age that dead men tell no tales. Hence he was always careful to ask a live man or even a live woman for his bedtime story. To his sorrow, he also learned that live men often tell no tales. He loafs like a Stakhanovite. He confronts modernity in deadly, face-to-face, bare-handed struggle. Not bare-wristed, though, as his wrists are encased in impeccable Mechlin lace.

Herr Professor Doktor Vader is a government drone who constructs weapons of mass destruction in a location not nearly as far away as one might wish. His family crest–Veni, Vader, Vici (“I came, I choked everyone I saw, I conquered”)–graces the pages of the Almanac de Gotha.

Mr. Adam G. is a brash conquistador. His elaborate vocabulary and baroque humor are symptomatic of his manifold genius, or so unidentified sources claim, off the record. He is also buggy. He has the space bug, the Mormon bug, and oftimes the flu bug.

Mr. Grey Owl is a gentleman of obscure origin resident in the great woods of the Canadian northland.

Mr. GST is a devout adherent of the advice of Shakespeare’s Polonius, “neither a burrower nor a leper be.” He is not involved in the oil industry. He is a friend to the oppressed everywhere–and an enemy to no man. Because none of his enemies qualify as men, the spineless sissies. Update: We regret to say that Mr. GST perished in an expedition the fabled Lost Continent where the Ten Tribes dwell. He was last seen critiquing the dentition of a ravening beast. His blogging will hereafter be conspic. by its a. Go in peace, traveler.

Mr. Paul Bunyan is a big-hearted guy. His pet ‘Babe’ has won many prizes at ox shows. Mr. Bunyan is employed professionally as a log-whisperer.

Mr. Pecos Bill is a Mormon bishop and a Scoutmaster in eastern New Mexico. He is rough of speech and temper but a natural gentleman withal. He is a pioneer in space exploration and is currently involved in a cooperative venture with NASA to breed lunar longhorns. He does not read the blog, sending in his posts and comments via smoke-signal.

Mr. Bertram Wooster is a well-dressed young writer resident in London’s West End. His scripture knowledge is extensive. He suffers from aunts. As an aristo-elitist enemy of the people, he is doomed to the tumbrils with the Duc d’Enghien and Mitt Romney.

Ms. La LLorona is the Junior Ganymede’s “Mommy blogger.” Along with Jeeves, she is the Junior Ganymede’s non-Mormon.

Mr. Mogollon Monster rages inarticulately. Web accounts wrongly describe him as a species of ‘bigfoot.’

Mr. Mike Fink‘s daddy was an H-bomb, his mommy was a rocket, and he’s all awesome. He can outfight, outtalk, or outtake any man, woman, or child, and he doesn’t care who knows it. Chuck Norris is his hankie.

Jeeves wears a size nine hat. He is the recognized authority on all matters within his purview. We dasn’t say anything else, as it would be a liberty.

Mr. Bartleby T. Scrivener prefers not to divulge personal information.

NOTE: Some authors had their blurb here composed for them. Make allowances.

Comments (13)
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No Tag
April 03rd, 2009 09:40:58
13 comments

gst
April 3, 2009

I heard that Mr. Wooster actually won the Scripture Knowledge prize at prep school.


Augustus Fink-Nottle
April 3, 2009

If his sleeves weren’t full-to-bursting of lists of the Kings of Judah during the Scripture Knowlege examinations, then I’m not a teetotaler.


GST
April 3, 2009

Newt-fancier.


Bruce Nielson
April 8, 2009

Looking for any more help with this blog, Adam?


Adam G.
May 18, 2009

Yep. Also blog posts being drafted.


Vader
June 17, 2009

Any interest in adding a Sith Lord to your roster of posters?

Character references available on request.


Man SL
June 18, 2009

I find your character references disturbing.


Vader
June 18, 2009

All I want to do is lend a hand.


Collin Simonsen
November 11, 2013

When I read these personal descriptions, I could only think, “It takes all sorts.”


Mick
August 5, 2014

Holy Hellions, I love this site! Had a preposterous assault case, where the judge, in acquitting my client, cashiered me for abstaining from cross-examining the pathetic prosecution witnesses, accusing me of having “the law in [my] back pocket, which has been well established for 200 years.” Believing he had short-sheeted the depth of “the law” in my back pocket, and promptly recalling from law kindergarten the Tuberville v. Savage “threat,” I ogled as much of it as I could conjure, yours came up right after wiki-watchee. Well-assayed Good Sirrahs! With esteem from the bowels to the cockles, I am, your most humbled manservant and earnest manny, Mick


Bertie W.
August 5, 2014

Oh rather.

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