Junior Ganymede
We endeavor to give satisfaction


March 24th, 2009 by admin

What ho!

We’re Mormon (mostly), American (mostly), and men (mostly), and not ashamed of it. Our interests are manifold, ranging from religion to politics to space. Like Shakespeare, we don’t mind mixing relentlessly frivolous posts of no merit with hysterically funny posts with more relentlessly frivolous posts of no merit with posts containing profound insights into the human condition and timeless prose.

Our enemies accuse us of being retrograde deplorables simultaneously stuck in the 1950s and the Victorian age. Dash their perspicuity, the blighters.

We pity Utes, politicians, and Frenchmen. We are a proud sponsor of the Uninvited Loud Precision Band, the Internet Rocketeers Club, and Captain Napalm’s Thermonuclear League of Liberty, as well as the advocacy group Cultists and Non-Christians for Jesus. We use the Calvin and Hobbes search engine. We are uxorious and philoprogenitive. We disapprove of trolloping around. We are aphoristic. We are holier-than-thou, and also more truculent. Our ineptitude charms.

Please also see our Welcome Post/Suggestions Box.

Blog Motto

Navis Volitans Mihi Anguillis Plena Est.

Blog Origin

This blog is the culmination of a series of rollicking escapades, dare-devil adventures, and star-crossed romances (of the strictly heterosexual and non-consummated kind, we hasten to add). More here. Be warned, this is affecting stuff. Tears will be shed, snot will be blown.

Comment policy
You are welcome to comment on any post. You are also welcome to realize that we may modify, delete, rewrite, humiliate, exsanguine, waterboard, or garrot your comment at our whim. Our comments policy is on the broad lines of the Spanish Inquisition to a backsliding converso or a wanton boy to flies.


Guest Posts

The JG welcomes guest posts from the sorts of reprobates, scalliwags, and scurvy dogs who would be attracted to a blog like this in the first place.   Send up a flare to jrganymededotalphahotelgolfatgmail, but not really dot alpha hotel golf at, nudge nudge wink wink.

Comments (20)
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March 24th, 2009 14:16:25

April 8, 2009

This is an orthodox Mormon, politically conservative, masculine, puritanical, sarcastic, literary, rude, bloody-minded, preening, fanciful, sober, contradictory, irreverent blog. The Mormonism isn’t really negotiable. The rest probably is if you’re being funny enough.

March 1, 2010

Okay, what does the birken head drill mean in this context?

Type real slow. I’m a girl.

March 1, 2010

Found it on wiki.
I feel properly humbled for assuming it was rude to women.
My apologies, good men.

Adam G.
March 1, 2010

To stand an’ be still
to the Birkenhead drill
is a damn tough bullet to chew

Dave Butler
March 27, 2012


I’ve published a book on the Book of Mormon, and I’d like to share it with you. It’s called Plain and Precious Things: The Temple Religion of the Book of Mormon’s Visionary Men. In a nutshell, I think that Lehi belonged to an oppressed minority religious group, identified as the ‘visionary men,’ whose worship, visions and doctrines all revolved around Solomon’s Temple. 1 Nephi is a kind of charter of the transplanting of the religion of the visionary men to the promised land, in which their two central ordinances are expressed in visionary form, in 1 Nephi 8 and 1 Nephi 11-15. Once you learn to see their symbols, you’ll see that the Book of Mormon, from start to finish, is a temple book.

Here’s the Amazon link.


I’d love to give you guys free copies to read and consider mentioning on the blog. E-mail me.



Prince Philip
April 10, 2012

This blog is a vast waste of space. Ghastly.

Karl D.
June 26, 2014


Are you going move over any of your now removed posts from timesandseasons over to here (it would be a shame to see stuff like “On the Efficacy of Kicking Up a Fuss” disappear)?

June 26, 2014

Or restore them there. I took them down temporarily myself for prudential reasons.

Phil Stooke
October 21, 2015

Uh, guys, you do know that Ganymede was a homosexual, I assume. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

October 21, 2015

It would be more accurate to say that Zeus was a pederast and Ganymede was his victim.

But the title of the blog is not an allusion to Greek mythology, or at least not directly. It is an allusion to British humorist Wodehouse and his Bertie and Jeeves stories. In which, so far as I have detected, there are no particular themes of homosexuality.

October 22, 2015

We are comfortable with the title of the blog because we are all red-blooded rugged he-men who are straighter then straight. Non-euclidean spaces tremble at our presence, and rainbows blanch. Think of it as counter-signaling.

Tony Iveson
November 22, 2015

I don’t think I am evil, but I am homosexual. I believe in God and Jesus Christ. I am in a monogamous relationship with a man. I have been since 1979. We love each other dearly. You have published some of my bletherings. Bruce Charlton has also published some of my bletherings on his ‘notions’ blog. Am I to be cast into the outer darkness by everybody connected with Junior Ganymede and/or by Bruce Charlton now that I have outed myself?

November 22, 2015

I don’t think anyone cares, Tony.

November 22, 2015

Speaking just for myself, and not necessarily for the other bloggers here: I’ve never been particularly keen on warming my hands over someone else’s auto-da-fe. We’re not going to vilify you here, nor block you from our discussions, as long as you are civil.

I won’t kid you, though. I think most of us regard same-sex attraction as a disorder and active homosexuality as a mortal sin. We view marriage as intrinsically a conjugal relationship, and are frankly worried about our religious liberty in a world that now views opposition to homosexual marriage as rank bigotry. I assume you see things otherwise. If you can live with the fact that we disagree on this, and that we’re going to continue expressing our views, and not try to shout us down on our own blog, we’re probably good.

November 22, 2015

I think the question if your are evil, and if that is a vice are two different questions. Our good acts do not negate our sins, but our sins don’t do that to our virtues either.

It doesn’t just average out. God doesn’t let that happen because he cherishes our virtues. He will patiently teach and show us a better way. But he can’t raise us up if we refuse to accept what ‘up’ is.

I want to treat a fine line between showing patience, mercy and love and also calling a spade a spade. I certainly have enough sins and weaknesses. Though recently married, I just spent 15 years single and I know how lonely that was. That was one of the toughest things I have done.

So while SSM is contrary to the order of Heaven, we do welcome you here.

Tony Iveson
November 23, 2015

Zen: “He will patiently teach and show us a better way. But he can’t raise us up if we refuse to accept what ‘up’ is.”

I can assure you that it isn’t a matter of ‘refusal to accept’. Oh dear, I did not think that this would be upsetting, but I find that it is. I’m sure that you have heard gay people say this before, but I have always been gay, and I’ve never been attracted to the opposite sex. I firmly believe I was born gay. If you are entirely straight Zen, ask yourself how long you have known that you were entirely straight. I would find it hard to believe it if your visceral response wasn’t “always”. It is the same for me. It’s right down deep, printed all the way through like a stick of rock.

I’m prepared to believe that God has a preference for heterosexual relationships within marriage, and that under the law (of Moses) He condemned gay people. You see I’m not one of those liberal types who likes to twist the scriptures to fit my behaviours. However, I do believe that God sent the Word to earth for those millions who transgress the laws all the time, and who cannot live ‘up’ to them like me. Strangely, God seems to me to have become more liberal over time. I can’t explain that, but there it is. I believe that the Word (the son) died for me and mine, as well as you and yours, and that the Holy Spirit and God the Father felt that pain and humiliation too. In feeling that pain and humiliation, I think He felt the pain and humiliation of all the world’s people from the beginning until the end, including mine right now. If I did not believe that I would not be able to go on living.

November 23, 2015

Go on living.

November 23, 2015

I can’t speak for any other heterosexuals, but I don’t recall being born heterosexual. It never crossed my mind to be attracted to girls until I was about 11 years old.

November 23, 2015

My first crush was in second grade. My mom said I was besotted (with the same girl, it turns out) when I was 3.

Genghis Khan
November 23, 2015

I’ve always been attracted to all the women as long as I can remember. My harem is full and it makes me happy.

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