Junior Ganymede
We endeavor to give satisfaction

Doomericks 3

August 08th, 2017 by G.

Doomericks!  It’s the limerick-like craze that is sweeping the  nation!  Desultorily sweeping the nation.  Like a slatternly servant with an old broom.  Man, this place is filthy.

 

Ahem.

 

The justice of God is our doom.

Woven as fate on the loom.

We thought we could win

playing with sin

but its nothing but tick tick tick boom

And

When an EMP causes a surge

it will then be too late to splurge

on a Faraday cage

so just turn the page

and get used to life on the verge

As always, your own versifications, corrections, suggestions, and angry denunciations are welcome.

********************************

More Doomericks

and

The Original Doomericks

 

Comments (16)
Filed under: Deseret Review | No Tag
No Tag
August 08th, 2017 07:04:27
16 comments

Kirk Forlatt
August 8, 2017

A churchy barista named Cruz
Was eternally smote with the blues
Seems on Judgment Day
He was sent far away
His identity being obscured by tattoos.


seriouslypleasedropit
August 8, 2017

A famous lobbyist for “labor”
sleighted his blue-collar neighbor
So for all of his money
He was eating crickets and honey
pride stopping him from asking a favor


MC
August 10, 2017

I fear that the heavens will grant us
The fate of a place called Atlantis
For our sins, quite perverse
We will die or disperse
To wherever the shock waves should plant us.


MC
August 10, 2017

Though our chieftains do much to defang us.
We won’t die by the hand of a Genghis
Instead, we’ll produce
And market the noose
By which hateful co-nationals hang us.


MC
August 10, 2017

The rainbow says God won’t send water
To mete out the justice he oughter.
But surely He’ll flay
A world so astray
That it turns a son into a daughter.


G.
August 10, 2017

Bravo!

The “plant us” and “oughter” and Genghis.defang us rhymes cause me to chortle with perverse glee.

Suggestion: on the last one, last line, maybe replace” into” with “to.”


aardvark
August 10, 2017

There used to be ethics and standards
we’ve replaced them with signals that pander
For a simple ideer
you could lose your career
I think we should stop using google.

(had a line that rhymed with pander to finish it off, but this one was better)


Agellius
August 10, 2017

Man, I wish I could do that. : )

I had hoped for a nifty mutation
From the post-nuclear radiation
But all I have gained
Is a tumorous brain
And a tender subdermal inflation.


MC
August 10, 2017

G,

Thanks!

I think you must be reading that last line with the stress on “son,” but I wrote/read it with the stress on the “in” in “into.” So it’s:
ya-ta-DA-ta-da-YA-ta-da-YA-ta

If I were to replace “into” with “to,” I’d probably replace “turns” with “changes.” But “changes” for some reason doesn’t have the same oomph in my eyes as “turns into”. Anyway, could see it both ways.


Daniel Ortner
August 11, 2017

Here are a couple I tried writing:

“Diversity is king!”
The rabble loves to sing
While marching along
In one unthinking throng
To burn heretics for thinking wrong

A twisted sense of morality
With absolute truth as its causality
Where the only thing certain
Is you are fired for assertin’
What once would have been a banality.

Today idols are not made
Of precious metals of fine grade
But of Gorilla glass
And a aluminum chassis
Demanding an annual upgrade


G.
August 11, 2017

@MC,
de gustibus and all, but I think ‘son’ is a natural stress, being a good old one syllable anglo-saxon noun.

@TOTAL Nathan,
thanks to Obamacare, you can get that condition treated

@Ortner,
oh, well done. I took the liberty of inserting quotation marks in the first one and an apostrophe in the second by way of officious meddling. If you don’t like them, I shall shamefacedly slink off and remove them.
I might also suggest changing ‘unthinking’ to ‘mindless.’ Still mulling over whether having ‘unthinking’ and ‘thinking’ in back to back lines is too repetitious or makes for a nice contrast.
Reading the last one, it just now occurs to me that I don’t know how ‘chassis’ is pronounced. I thought it was ‘chassy’ for some reason.


Daniel Ortner
August 11, 2017

Chassis is basically pronounced Chasi, so it’s a bit of a slant rhyme with glass, but I liked how it sounded.

I like your other two changes.


James
August 12, 2017

We once called that wolf the Old Liar,
who said he’d save man without fire,
First his views rejected,
Now it’s known and accepted,
That salvation doth nothing require.


James
August 12, 2017

Dang. Forgot “were” after “views” and messed up the whole meter.


JRL in AZ
August 14, 2017

Bravo, James!

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