Junior Ganymede
We endeavor to give satisfaction

More Doomericks

July 26th, 2017 by G.

Highlights of a recent family reunion include a professionally trained operatic bass giving us an unplanned rendition of You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch, and me badgering my kin for natural disasters and rhymes for use in doomericks. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a captive audience must be afflicted with one’s stuff. Here are a couple of the crowd favorites:

The brightest don’t have any kids.
Western IQ’s on the skids.
It’s dysgenic decline.
It’s the loss of the mind.
It’s civilizational SIDS.

And, inspired by Pompeii,

When the Yellowstone volcano goes
and buries us in its ashy throes,
I hope you’re quite fit,
and not dressed like a twit,
for your archaeological pose.

Thank you, thank you very much.

Yes, the Doomerick is the amazing new art form that is sweeping the nation. Here’s a couple from the comments last time we did this, from me and SPDI:

Me:

The good Drs. Woodley and Bruce
have let the genetic thought loose
that bad mutation
accumulation
is putting our heads in the noose

SPDI:

A spoiled young nation called Sam
Gleefully spurned the I Am
Interpreting pleasures
As righteousness measures
They deserve it, they do, that self-damn

SPDI’s is pretty much the platonic essence of a doomerick, and when I contemplate it, I feel like this blog has justified the measure of its existence.

Comments (4)
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No Tag
July 26th, 2017 06:49:03
4 comments

Wilhelm
July 26, 2017

These are all top grade, especially the Yellowstone volcano.

Might I suggest that you change the first line of your third offering to “The good Drs. Woodley and Bruce”?


Zen
July 26, 2017

I have yet to see a poem as nice the Sam-I-am one, and I just finished Tolkien’s poetry in The Lay of Beren and Luthien. Simply sublime.


seriouslypleasedropit
July 26, 2017

After all this high praise I get worried about expectations, but here’s one that came to mind:

In the Forties we invented the pill,
and fornicated our fill
Now we’ll soon lose our plenty
If we don’t turn all repent-y
But for all that, His hand is outstretched still.


G.
July 27, 2017

@Wilhelm,
Much better. It shall be done.

@SPDI, durn good, but the last line could be better. The replacement I thought of is “but his hands, they are outstretching still” which is better rhythm but less scriptural. Maybe just lose”for all that”?

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