We are all slapping SPDI heartily on the back. His latest is even better than his normal high standard of work.
Wisely and eloquently, at root he makes the very simple point: men won’t prepare for marriage if there aren’t worthy women around. And vice versa. We have moved from a cooperate-cooperate to defect-defect.
What I was groping for, but didn’t quite grasp, was the importance of young people trusting that the opposite sex is also preparing for marriage.
For parents, its trusting that other kids parents are also preparing them for marriage.
One very strong definition of community that transcends race and language and all sorts of things, is the group of people whose kids you expect your kids could marry. Ancestral and blood ties, in other words, are often prospective.