Junior Ganymede
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Signalling All the Way Down

April 12th, 2017 by Patrick Henry

On the exotic fringes of the intellectual right, there are monarchists and all sorts of things. Well, guys, its been a good run, and I’m sorry to say that I am about to launch the killer meme that will eliminate your movement.

Imagine there’s a king. Now imagine, as surely they will, all the social justice warriors and grubby little careerists have simply transferred their virtue signalling from Progress to royalty.

Imagine this:

Or this:

Professor Ziad Ahmed will speak on his latest book: Releasing your Inner Subject: Finding the Slavish Devotion Within. “His Majesty cares for all his subjects like an ideal father,” Professor Ahmed explains, “and so everyone deserves to find the empowerment of releasing their inner courtier. I am fortunate enough to have had multiple audiences at court, but not everyone has. This book is for them. Not being a courtier is not OK.”

Professor Ziad Ahmed began his career with his highly received Ph.D. dissertion, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in Popular Literature: Memetic Transformation of the Critique of Divided Power. Professor Ahmed was the Chief Sovereignty Officer of his own mannerbund at the young age of 17 years old and was famously admitted to Stanford with a personal essay consisting only of “#king #king #king #king #king #king #king #king” for 300 words. At the time, he stated, “Yes, I know the sovereign’s full titles and I originally thought about just writing them all out. But I wanted something to express the simplicity of my fervor. I wanted there to be no doubt about my fundamental commitment to the crown.”

Remember, kids, rinse your mouth after vomiting. It prevents tooth decay.

Comments (11)
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April 12th, 2017 06:40:27

April 12, 2017

His Majesty will be following your posts with great interest.

April 12, 2017

That’s pretty funny. That sort of thing actually happened with the NSDAP in Germany, where some of their strictest opposition turned into their most loyal and obedient servants upon winning.

April 13, 2017

Search “Ziad Ahmed blacklivesmatter” to get the back story. I didn’t even know who Arthur Chu is. For anyone else who didn’t get it, or searched for the wrong Ziad Ahmed, Chu is mocking an 18 year old freshman named Ziad Ahmed who got into Stanford on a (#)black lives matter ploy.

Ziad’s ploy was so genius, you can’t really tell which side of it he’s on.

April 14, 2017

I think Chu is a social justice warrior type.

Nick B. Steves
April 14, 2017

If young Ahmed had actually achieved (by merit, and not mere brownness, o) “Chief Sovereignty Officer” of his Mannerbund by age 17, then he would have known that virtue (vir) is not measured by verbal evidence of devotion. Therefore, he would never have dreamed of attempting to signal his devotion so cheaply.

Devotion will always and everywhere be signaled. True enough. But where its value is judged by its true *cost*, holiness spirals are far less likely, because lack of incentives.

Sorry if that spoils the joke. But almost the entire point of a formal/monarchical system is that it puts the kibosh on gaining power/status by cheap verbal signals.

[…] This is funny, but the author misses the reason why the monarchists (bless them) are monarchists to begin with. When the informal influence people wield doesn’t match up with the formal description of the official powers (if any) of their positions, they need lies and deception to keep the system going. Those lies then become symbols that people can use to signal loyalty to, and even status within, the existing informal power structure. So of course the signaling spirals then become, themselves, a means to further accumulation of informal power. […]

April 14, 2017

“Arthur Chu, OAE” is a stroke of genius but I wrote a pedantic rejoinder anyway: https://quaslacrimas.wordpress.com/2017/04/14/leeches-lies-and-purity-spirals/

April 14, 2017

Sorry. I got the speakers mixed up. Patrick Henry is mocking Chu by paraphrasing what young Ziad Ahmed did. I wrongly thought Chu wrote the stuff following “Or this:” to mock Ahmed.

You still have to search: Ziad Ahmed Stanford
Ziad Ahmed blacklivesmatter
to get the backstory.

Sorry, one of the side-effects of my superpower (Asperger’s) is literalism.

April 16, 2017

Power can’t be formalized. Whoever formally has the power, whoever influences or impresses that person (or is believed to) will have informal power. Hence the advantages to courtiers of cultivating the king.

Nick B. Steves
April 18, 2017

“Power can’t be formalized.”

Fallacy of excluded middle.

Obviously nothing can be perfectly formalized. But not 1 is not equal to 0. The entire point is that, given the option of telling more or fewer lies about the nature of power to ourselves, we should really side with fewer.

April 19, 2017

That may be, or not. But you are changing the grounds of discussion. Whether or not monarchy or CEOship or whatnot would be a better form of government, it would still have a place for signalling and flattery, because influencing the formal power or being seen to be in well with the formal power would still in itself be a form of power.

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