Junior Ganymede
We endeavor to give satisfaction

Rejecshuns

August 20th, 2013 by Pecos Bill

Mah stake president gave a talkin’ to our gennulmen youngun’s  not too long ago on preparin’ fer mishinary service. Durned if he din’t give them fellers some well-placed expostulations:

  • Sittin’ on yer Francis all the live-long day pushin’ knobs on an electronical gadget ain’t perzactly the best way to tone up for strenyoous mishinary service.
  • The natchural knack fer pickin’ up furrin talk dies out by age 18, so it behoofivies you to already have some practice at it, just in case you end up shippin’ out to some exotical place where they don’t speak Utahan, like China or New York City.
  • You kin’t preach what you ain’t believin’ yer ownself. So familiarate yerself now with the Holy Word, and take out yer soul now and then fer a good inspectin’.
  • You might perchance not wish to be in too great a rush. Goin’ at 18 ain’t carved in stone. You kin wait ’til 19 if need be. In fact, sez the stake president, I may be insistin’ on it for some of you young’uns.
  • On a belated note, you need to grow a thick enough hide to handle a good snort of rejecshun.

That last one is the first partway decent argyment I’ve ever heered for young bucks to be doin’ any datin’.

Comments (3)
Filed under: Deseret Review | Tags: , , , , , , ,
August 20th, 2013 12:22:18
3 comments

B. Wooster
August 20, 2013

I say. What could be more fitting from Mr. Bill than a list of bullet points, what?


Bookslinger
August 20, 2013

If I may recommend a book (it’s what I do, hence my moniker), here’s a way to stealthily prepare your young’uns for talking to strangers, cleverly disguised as a book on how to talk to people of the opposite sex: Always Talk to Strangers, by David Wygant.


Vader
August 20, 2013

If there is value in learning to talk to strangers, then I am hear to help.

No one is stranger than me.

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