Junior Ganymede
We endeavor to give satisfaction


June 30th, 2011 by Vader

I have been in touch with my fellow designers of weapons of mass destruction at Los Alamos, New Mexico, who have been driven out of town by the 90,000-acre Los Conchas wild fire. They tell me that law enforcement in the area is warning folks of fradulent phone calls purporting to be soliciting donations for the Red Cross. This has prompted a couple of thoughts on my part.  

First, it is touching that people are so generous that the morality deficient among us are trying to get a piece of the action.

Second, this is outrageous in a peculiar way. These con artists aren’t robbing people at gunpoint. They aren’t stealing from people who are starving. They aren’t molesting children. What they are doing is just low.

It strikes me that this is exactly the kind of act for which public shaming would be the ideal punishment. I would be happy to put these people in stocks for a day in the public square in Los Alamos, and help hand out rotten fruit to passersby. It’s not like hanging them by the neck until dead, or letting them rot in jail, or fining them huge amounts of money. What it is is an opportunity for them to experience the profoundly deep sense of shame that is presently entirely missing from their character.


Comments (5)
Filed under: Birkenhead Drill | No Tag
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June 30th, 2011 21:49:03

July 1, 2011

Thinking about it more, it occurs to me that this is the kind of mean petty crime that Screwtape addressed with his famous toast. Thoroughly damning in a faint unspectacular way.

July 1, 2011

What about leaving them in stocks up in the wildfire…?

Adam G.
July 1, 2011

We need to revive the ” he needed killin’ ” defense and allow it for lesser crimes.

Your honor, my client pleads not guilty to charges of assault and battery by reason of the guy needed frogmarchin’ into a public place and paddled.

This is pretty low.

Ben Pratt
July 1, 2011

Vader and Adam: send me an email, please.

Milton Waddams
July 3, 2011

Ben Pratt: No one ever asks me to send them an email? Why is that???? Everyone else gets to send emails. It’s only fair if I can send out emails.

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