Junior Ganymede
We endeavor to give satisfaction

The Secret to High Birthrates

February 01st, 2011 by G.

Georgia (the furrin one) got 20% more births after its Archbishop promised to personally baptize every family’s third child, fourth child, fifth child, and so on. I will do him one better.

To all my neighbors and fellow Americans, I personally promise to baptize your child even if its your first or second. You have my cast-iron guarantee.

Comments (4)
Filed under: Brilliantly Lit,Deseret Review | Tags: , , , , , ,
February 01st, 2011 15:16:56

La Llorona
February 1, 2011

I promise to drown them!

February 1, 2011

Shouldn’t you have an asterisk*?

*That they are at least 8 year’s old and pass the baptism interview?

February 2, 2011

And here I thought the secret to high birthrates was early marriage and cold winter nights.

Well, and avoiding third-degree burns.

February 2, 2011

There was a spike in births 9 months after the blizzard of 1978.

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