Junior Ganymede
We endeavor to give satisfaction

Rocks ruled unsafe for school children

July 26th, 2010 by Vader

Via Debunkers.org:   

Michael Warring, president of American Educational Products in Fort Collins, Colo., had his shipment all ready: A school’s worth of small bags, each one filled with an igneous, sedimentary and metamorphic rock. Then the school canceled its order. Says Warring, “They apparently decided rocks could be harmful to children.”…The children will study a poster of rocks instead.

No one is more sensitive to the dangers of igneous rocks than I am. But even I recognize that most of the danger is past once they’ve solidified.

His Majesty is of the opinion that a child so sensitive to lead that he cannot safely handle samples of ordinary rocks really needs to be weeded out of the gene pool. Along the same lines, His Majesty is of the opinion that the existence of worlds that have their children study posters of rocks, rather than actual rocks, for reasons of safety, is a powerful argument in favor of constructing Death Stars.

I suggested it would be more economical to simply choke the living sin out of the members of the Consumer Product Safety Commission. His Majesty snapped back that, in a democracy, the people are the root of the problem, not the institutions they give power to. Getting rid of the existing government and raising up a new one will not do when what you need is to get rid of the existing people and raise up a new one.

It seems His Majesty has been reading his Exodus lately. But he disagrees with Moses’ foolish sentimentality.

Comments (2)
Filed under: We transcend your bourgeois categories | No Tag
No Tag
July 26th, 2010 10:43:12
2 comments

Adam G.
July 26, 2010

“His Majesty is of the opinion that the existence of worlds that have their children study posters of rocks, rather than actual rocks, for reasons of safety, is a powerful argument in favor of constructing Death Stars.”

His Majesty is an incisive reasoner.


Vader
July 26, 2010

His Majesty is known for his trenchant sense of humor.

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