Verbigerous Grandiloquence

About halfway through today’s Golberg File, Jonah remembered that he’s supposed to be embiggening our vocabularies. He didn’t include a glossary, though, so I’ve created one in loco lazycolumnistensis.

quomodocunquize
(v): To make money by any means possible.

clusterfist
(n): A close-fisted or grasping fellow; a tightwad.

There is another, even more obsolete, definition that a clusterfist is a clownish boor, so you should probably think of a clusterfist as a skinflint with overtones of being gauche and clumsy about it.

Note: Do not do an internet search for this word.

tripsolagnophile
(n): One who longs for sexual pleasure through massage.

Note: Do not search for this one on the internet either.

verbigerate
(v. i.): 1. To talk; chat.
2. (Med.) To repeat a word or sentence, in speaking or writing, without wishing to do so or in spite of efforts to cease.

Witzelsucht
(n): A neuromedical condition characterized by excessive facetiousness and inappropriate or pointless humor.

swedge
(n): Colloquially, one who leaves (a restaurant, e.g.) without paying.

I had a hard time tracking this down and ultimately had to extrapolate the meaning from other definitions.

sacofricosis
(n): A sexual paraphilia characterized by making holes in one’s pockets to masturbate in public with a minimal risk of getting caught.

Note: As you expected, I’m advising you against running your favorite internet search engine on this word.

psaphonic
(adj): Plotting one’s rise to money and fame.

Given the strong ‘do not search for this on the internet’ theme to today’s words, I half-expected this word to have something to do with Pasiphae, or whatever her name is, who if memory serves was the Greek girl that got made pregant by Zeus-in-the-form-of-a-bull or Zeus-in-the-form-of-a-Zeus or whatever the special of the week was. Memory probably doesn’t serve.

booger
(n): 1. Mucus or snot, usually partially dried and outside the nasal cavities.
2. One who boogs.