Comments on: I have no plans to see “Avatar.”

By: Vader

Vader — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 19:10:33 +0000

Rameumpton,

It was all Tarkin’s fault. The man was insane.

Bruce,

You really think I have any reason to fear Muppets? Three words: Pigs In Space.

By: Bruce Nielson

Bruce Nielson — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 19:00:32 +0000

You can run from the muppets, but you can’t hide, Lord Vader. They have your number!

Oh, look over there, is that Kermit the Frog? Ha ha ha, scared ya!

By: Vader

Vader — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:52:46 +0000

Dude! Palpatine defeated Yoda fair and square. No cowering involved.

“… So I threw the whole Senate at him! True story!”

As for the Ewoks, it is they who would have cowered in fear, had I not been preoccupied elsewhere. Even a Sith Lord can’t be everywhere at once.

By: Rameumptom

Rameumptom — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:51:23 +0000

BTW, the ewoks were not muppets, but played by real people: little people.

By: Rameumptom

Rameumptom — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:49:59 +0000

My wife’s cousin, Karen, played on of the Ewoks in the movie. She said that Vader looked really lame in that black getup. She said it was like the old cowboy stereotype thing.
Oh, and if you think destroying the second Death Star was bad for the environment, how do you think the fully functional Death Star was on the environment at Alderaan?

By: Bruce Nielson

Bruce Nielson — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 17:41:32 +0000

Dude! They were just bad puppets! Fry crying out loud your entire Empire fell due to some of the worst Jim Henson Muppets ever made!

Heck, I’ll bet if you handed any old Muppet a lightsaber, he could probably beat either Dark Lord with a bum leg and one hand tied behind his back!

Granted, he’ll choose to go into hiding afterwards for no apparent reason other than to allow the original trilogy to take place… but still… you guys seems to have a real Muppet problem on your hands. It’s like you cower in fear the moment Muppets come on the screen.

By: Vader

Vader — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 16:12:19 +0000

Well, they were no ordinary teddy bears. They were the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered ursines you ever set eyes on.

By: Bruce Nielson

Bruce Nielson — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 15:50:33 +0000

Ewoks! Ewoks!

Face it, Dark Lord! A bunch of little fuzzy creatures that looked like bad puppets totally kicked your trash!

Ewoks! Ewoks! Ewoks!

*breaks into the ‘Chub Chub’ victory song with hat in hand*

By: Vader

Vader — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 23:05:36 +0000

[Covers ears] I can’t hear you! Na na naah na-na-naah na-na-naaaah …

By: Bruce Nielson

Bruce Nielson — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 22:43:12 +0000

Never thought I’d see the day that the dark lord ran in fear like a little Na’vi girl-ling. All that heavy breathing and fancy armor can’t protect the coward within, now can it?