The Junior Ganymede salutes Pecos Bill, co-winner of the 2009 Nobel Prize for Chemistry, for his important discovery that cow manure, mixed with water, makes a fine fertilizer. Also, when dried, it burns! And these are just a few of the many uses of bullsh**.
Mr. Bill, in an exclusive interview with the Junior Ganymede, allowed as how his investigations into physio-chemistry of bovine byproduct were long overdue this sort of major public recognition: “Ain’t it been three months since I discovered that cowpies is easier to move when dry? Two months, anyways. But nary a peep of a-du-la-tion until now.” When pressed, however, Mr. Bill admitted that the Nobel Committee’s judgment may have been influenced in his favor by non-scientific factors. “When them [European gentlemen] got a gander of my posterior in mah tight jeans, they just abouts lost their little minds.” While Mr. Bill did acknowledge some disgruntlement that his co-winner also won a Nobel peace prize, expressing the view that the distinct lack of basis for any award to that individual tarnished the merit of his own. When reminded that President Obama was, after all, the Prince of Peace, Mr. Bill drew his six-shooter and cavilled.
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