All About Divorce

An excellent article and a promising new magazine.

Too late for me. Wife of 11 years just left me, despite a temple marriage and 4 kids, because I didn’t have a job.

Didn’t help her (good Mormon, temple attending) parents didn’t like me and told her they would care for her if she left me (because, y’know, I have student loans and no job and am therefore not a good Mormon). They lied to me to get us separated (it’s just a summer vacation – they’ll only be visiting for a few weeks!)

Nothing I can do. Interesting article. I wasn’t much interested in this stuff before, but now I am intensely interested. Not that it will help me any.

But I wish she would have to prove fault. As it is, the court only has to wait 60 days before declaring the marriage over, but I may never see my kids again, and with no job, I’ll likely become ineligible for the temple once the court decides I have to pay big bucks in child support.

Sorry, this site seems more silly than others, but this post hit me at just the wrong time.

There are usually at least 3 sides to every divorce: his, hers, and the truth.

Interesting postcard on divorce this week at
http://postsecret.blogspot.com
(scroll down a bit)
It will scroll off in the next week or two.

(semi)Permalink to the jpg:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_a7jkcMVp5Vg/SqLrZ_pXx5I/AAAAAAAAJv8/GB-kFttpC5E/s1600-h/canada.jpg

The studies/statistics cited by the article seem to leave open the question of the linkage between the sexual revolution (/cohabitation) and no-fault divorce. Which fosters which? Or did/do they reinforce each other?

twiceuponatime, that’s rough stuff. Chin up.

Sorry to hear it, fella. This site is sillier than most, but even so, sorry to hear it.

Bookslinger -

and sometimes, the wife just walks away for no good reason. Did you even read the article?

I’m not perfect, and I admit that. But I’ve spent the last few weeks reviewing everything, and I really haven’t done anything divorce worthy. But I know that I have in-laws who told my wife that if she stayed married to me, they would cut her out of the will.

Anyway, this isn’t the place for me to rant.

Sorry – feel free to delete my comments, or not. I’ll go back to lurking.

Twice: Sorry for my lack of sympathy. You’ve had 11 more years of marriage than I’ve had. I’ll liken it unto the lack of sympathy my blind friend had for me when I informed him that I started to wear glasses.

Divorce has long been part of Mormon culture. Six of Brigham Young’s wives obtained formal divorces, and apparently some others left him without a formal divorce. (A Book of Mormons, Richard S. Van Wagoner & Steven C. Walker, page 404.)

Separation and divorce are gut-wrenching, regardless of the circumstances, and regardless of who-did-what. The older I get, the more tragedies and horror-stories I hear. One church brother’s wife left him for another man, another brother’s wife left him for another woman. One of my friends committed suicide a year after his wife left him for another man. One guy’s wife left him after a week of marriage (I would have warned her away from him had I known they were planning on getting married.)

It wasn’t until I was 42 that I realized why I was still single, and when I started to realize the reasons why, I became very glad that I hadn’t married.

I assume you’ve had plenty of people say “get counseling”, and there’s nothing more I could add to that.

Interesting quote: “So marital quality dropped even as divorce rates were reaching record highs. What happened? It appears that average marriages suffered during this time, as widespread divorce undermined ordinary couples’ faith in marital permanency and their ability to invest financially and emotionally in their marriages — ultimately casting clouds of doubt over their relationships. For instance, one study by economist Betsey Stevenson found that investments in marital partnerships declined in the wake of no-fault divorce laws. Specifically, she found that newlywed couples in states that passed no-fault divorce were about 10% less likely to support a spouse through college or graduate school and were 6% less likely to have a child together. Ironically, then, the widespread availability of easy divorce not only enabled “bad” marriages to be weeded out, but also made it more difficult for “good” marriages to take root and flourish.”

Everything we do affects everyone else, if only just a little bit.

Twiceuponatime, I am rooting for your marriage and will continue to until the divorce if finalized. Marriage is a public relationship so your marriage (just a little bit) something I have a stake in. Thus I will root for it to somehow work out. I wish I could do more than that.